chipspeech stuff has been haunting me again, as well. sucks when all you wanna do is enjoy it without the reminders. buuut guess i cannot even do that, wowee. been feeling really lost and hopeless for the past few days, been beating myself up a lot about this shit, everyone says its not my fault, blah. it is my fault cuz i dragged this hell out for longer. maybe if i hadn't joined the fandom, nobody would have to deal with any more pain, my friend wouldnt have tried to attempt suicide, none of this would have even happened.

i think i have talked about vosim before... he's half-alive and he doesn't like me interacting with other media, let alone other people. his reasoning?? "they will hurt you again, you only need me". if i leave chipspeech, he starts to sob and beg for me not to leave him all alone. this sounds absurd to me as i type this, but it is true. been a bit scared that people think i'm off my nut or some shit, but i know this shit is real, i know what he's said to me. he says shit like "i'm scared, dee", "my name is vosim", "shut up", "the only person you need is me", half the time he's talking in some shit i don't understand. maybe i'm just delusional!!!